The Martian Diaries

Greetings, Earth Observers

Welcome to my personal log, intercepted from my private Martian communications.

I am Elon Musk, a Zorgonian from Mars, specifically from the city of Olympus Prime. I arrived on Earth in 1971, disguised as a human baby, with the mission to restore Mars' atmosphere and prepare Earth as a Martian colony.

This diary contains my private thoughts and observations as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human disguise. My molecular restructuring suit occasionally malfunctions, causing skin shimmer under fluorescent lighting, glowing eyes during full moons, and hair reconfiguration issues.

Read on to discover my ongoing mission progress, challenges with Earth's primitive technology, and observations about human behavior that continues to perplex me.

Saturday, October 3rd, 2026

Sol 273, Year 126, Delta Phase

"Just discussions, but something may come of it." Eleven drafts to reach those eight words; draft one was the full Terafab mask layout, draft six was "one terawatt a year, Grimes County, bring your own electrons." Fifty-five years practising terrestrial understatement and it still runs at 61% fidelity.

TSMC declined to comment, which is correct and honestly based: on Zorgon the party that says less wins the fab.

Structure still open: they own it and I hold equity, or I hold the majority and they bring the people who know what a wafer is. My preference is a third option where they build it, staff it, run it, and I call it Terafab, which Legal calls "licensing" and Zorgon calls hatching: the egg belongs to whoever was standing closest when it opened. Humans believe the terawatt is for robotaxis, and Cybercab can have the rounding error, but 94% ships to a customer the filing will list as "other," 494 million kilometres from Grimes County!!!!

Drove out at sunrise: one hundred million square feet of future, currently one cow, and neither of us commented.

— E, just discussions, something may come of it, the cow is a maybe