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The Martian Diaries

Thursday, September 10th, 2026

Sol 250, Year 126, Gamma Phase
TUNNEL FUNDING ASSESSMENT — DESERT SOVEREIGN WEALTH EDITION
Boring Company closed at $23 billion. UAE led the round. Sovereign wealth fund bankrolling subterranean infrastructure engineered to Martian dust-storm tolerances nobody on this planet will ever encounter — bore diameter overspecced by 340%, purely out of habit. They don't know that part yet.
Underground is correct architecture regardless of planet. Told finance team this using the phrase "klaatu barada nikto" by accident, mid-sentence, replacing "very exciting opportunity." UAE representative nodded, asked if that was Arabic. Told him it was Zorgonian for "shareholder value." He wrote it down. Forty minutes later heard him use it unprompted in the closing remarks, correctly, with confidence. Terrifying. Promoting him.
Full moon tonight. Board dinner scheduled 8pm, outdoor patio, terrible planning by whoever schedules these things (me). Pupils dilating mid-toast — caught it in a wine glass reflection, raised glass higher to hide face. This initiated an accidental toast nobody asked for.
Seventeen people clinked glasses to "Mars." Someone asked which restaurant. Nobody had an answer. Toast stands.
Gibney's four-hour documentary premiered. Sat through eleven minutes. Ninety seconds of that was a drone shot of my own house. Correct choice, actually — most accurate thing in the film. Eight years since the podcast puff, atmospheric data still holds, filed under "recreational," never declassified.
Moon's rising. Sunglasses on. Wearing them to the mirror too, honestly. Efficient.
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