Saturday, September 26th, 2026

TEASER REVIEW, SELF-FILED, 04:48 — CLASSIFICATION: GO FOR LAUNCH

Roadster teaser is out. Rear three-quarter, full-width red light bar, four white plumes firing out the back, and every human in the replies asking the same question: can the car fly. Wrong question. Correct question is why a Zorgonian was asked in 2017 to draw "a car" from first principles and the terrestrial test subjects are only now noticing it has been a landing craft the entire time. Announced 2017, promised 2020, revealing October 1st in Waco. Nine years is not a delay. Nine years is how long it takes a legal department to accept that a road is a suggestion.

Then Carmack posted that we should just empty a septic tank on Mars so nobody can pretend the place needs protecting. By the red dunes. Replied "Life must be multiplanetary." Meant: that is my house. Cover persona typed the sentence before the auxiliary lobe finished processing the word "septic," and now the reply has thousands of likes and there is a small pulsing behind my left ear that Zorgonian archives classify as homesickness and Earth doctors classify as "have you tried sleeping."

Flight 14 rehearsal complete, launch Monday, orbital, so the rocket proves the point three days before the car does!!!!

Told the Roadster team the thrusters are "for cornering." True. Did not specify around what.

— E, four plumes, one house, no sewage, go for launch